i have a meeting with Director in less than an hour. i didn't sleep well last night. i don't think this should be as stressful as it is. i know what i want and what i will ask for, and i feel justified in asking for it. i guess the discomfort is in not knowing the outcome. or perhaps suspecting the outcome: he's likely to defer to my supervisors and ask that i resolve things with them. but i won't do this. i'd sooner quit.
i was just reading Camus's The Rebel on the way to uni. not sure if that's a smart thing to do. but it does make me feel somewhat justified in following my gut instinct on this. it reminds me that knowing what i want (without having to fully understand or qualify this want) is enough.
one of the passages accompanying my journey:
I proclaim that I believe in nothing and that everything is absurd, but I cannot doubt the validity of my proclamation and I must at least believe in my protest. The first and only evidence that is supplied me, within the terms of the absurdist experience, is rebellion.
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