once in a lifetime

"and you may ask yourself, how did i get here?"
(talking heads)

i'm going to kill my facebook account. i don't need it. it doesn't need me. let's move on.

i had some more dreams, and then they stopped.

thursday night it was a taxi on fire. well, not so much on fire as having a flickering flame on the windscreen and bonnet, as though a flammable liquid over the windshield was on fire. the paint wasn't blistering, the car wasn't burning up. i think it was parked near newtown station. a person over my shoulder says "that'd be right" as though this sort of thing was to be expected.

friday night i dreamt that chris and i were walking and stumbled into a violent street scene. a guy had a knife and threatened the people around him. one man tried to get the knife from him and got slashed across his stomach. he fell down and it looked like he was about to be stabbed to death. then maybe another man intercepted. and then, at some stage, all the fighters stood and bowed to now applauding onlookers. this was a performance and nobody was injured. i was really angry that i was made to feel frightened for the sake of street performance.

chris was in my bed, so perhaps that's why he featured in the dream. i told him of this the next morning. i haven't remembered a dream since.

most of my dreams have circulated around fear and uncertainty. i wonder if the anticipation of seeing haneke's the white ribbon was intercepting with my sleeping thoughts. i saw it last night. that deserves its own post and further contemplation on my part, but it seemed to connect to the trajectory of my dreams. though maybe it has made me more fearful and anxious in my waking life, because there's no writing this off as fiction.