bus wee

last night i sat in wee on the bus.

i first sat in a dry seat, but someone had headache-inducing perfume, so i moved. and i sat on a wet seat. i quickly moved to the seat next to it, wondering if this was wee or just a spilt drink. it didn't smell like wee. probably best not to know.

i'd just given my supervisors some writing on the abject, strangely enough. so i'm thinking, even if it is urine, why is that so repulsive. it's not going to give me an infection or damage me in any way? yet, despite my attempts to challenge the abject, it was still an unpleasant feeling.

when i got home i smelt my pants and there was a faint smell of urine.

other than fretting about piss on public transport, and writing about abjection, i've been emptying an inbox that is likely to be deleted tomorrow. there's 5 years of email in there. i've started sorting and saving things, and was going to continue tonight, but i'm tired, and i'm questioning the point of doing so. do i really want to hold onto all those words, those beautiful sentences given to me by many. yes. but where does it stop. i can't retain everything. gotta keep moving.

someone has written 'today is the first day of the rest of your life' on the whiteboard in my study space. i scowl every time i see it. i imagine some horrible things i might write beneath it. maybe something like "but tomorrow is the last day of your life because i will kill you all". maybe it's just me, but i think that would be ridiculously funny. y'know, shake things up a bit, put some concerned frowns on some postgrad faces. a deterrent to future cheesy sentiment scrawlers.