fatigué = tired. libre = free.
another day of train travel tomorrow. 6 hours to barcelona. finally booked accommodation after several hours looking. many websites to search, a short memory of which are the best ones to use, a lot of wading and checking maps and weighing up price and distance. finally found something quite central.
barcelona scares me. it's so unfamiliar and i can't speak a word of spanish. i guess it's touristy, so i may not need to. i haven't had a chance to look at my phrase book. though i don't think i have the space to grapple with another language just now. perhaps i won't speak at all, or will speak english and expect to be understood. it's only 4 days i guess.
i'm getting lazy and have been speaking english with the staff at the hostel i'm staying at.
french tires me. i know i've improved, but i still have a long long way to go. when i next visit france i hope to be able to engage with people here. trying to find the words to express such simple things can be draining. hence, i'm in bed, having a nap, at 6pm.
when i bought my ticket to barcelona the woman was rude to me. the booking fee was more than usual, so i asked why. she said that's what it is, do you want to make a reservation or not. i said well i'm just not sure why it's 13 euro when it's usually 3. and she says if you're not sure then you shouldn't buy the ticket. but... fuck! do i have a fucking choice? just give me the fucking ticket and take the 13 fucking euro! of course, i did not say it like this.
strange that a small incident like this can have a big impact on my day. as though i've had a falling out with a good friend.
and just prior to this was the man who served me cous cous with a vegetable soup that had meat in it. i point out the 'viande'. it's there, on my fork, and he tries to tell me it's 'legume'. he replaces it with another dish, which i suspect was the same dish with the meat and liquid removed. i find a smaller piece of meat. i eat around it a little, feeling bad for being a fussy whinging middle-class white boy, but at the same time, the thought of the vegies being cooked in a meat-based stock makes me feel ill and unable to eat. meanwhile, he is occasionally feeding family members around me, when they call in. it's like i'm eating in the family home. so rejecting this food (good, edible food for most people) seems really wrong.
i don't eat much, mostly the plain cous cous, and then go to pay. he asks if everything is ok. i say there's still meat in it. he refuses to accept my money. i feel bad, and leave a 2 euro coin on the table (half of what the meal was supposed to be).
i like marseille. though it's a tough place. the canadian guy says it's 'sauvage'. i agree. but it's so interesting at the same time. more than any other place it has got me thinking about borders, human traffic, and how most people don't have the freedom to travel as i'm doing now. could it be that the issue of national security is the new (and acceptable) xenophobia? the words sprayed on the walls of this city seem to suggest that this is the case.
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