up with dead people

it was sunny, but now there are clouds.

i sat in the Jardin du Luxembourg and read the paper. finding out what the socialist party is up to. wondering what's with the 'frigidaire' references to Segolene Royal.

i'm falling more in love with the gardens. i like that people go there to do stuff. to play tennis, to play chess, to read, to stroll, to play with boats in the fountains, to make out, to jog, to work. there's a lot going on. there's a lot of solitary strolling. there's chairs everywhere for people to set themselves up in groups big and small. and there's brown leaves falling from trees and skirting along the ground. eventually they're collected, by men in overalls, driving tractors, and dumped into cages of dead leaves.

was feeling a bit down after germany. i had to re-adjust to being alone, to lots of silence, to having to motivate myself to do things. spent a few days studying, which is necessary, yet feels like a waste of my time here.

things improved yesterday, and part of that was seeing otto; or up with dead people - a film by bruce la bruce which screened at the gay and lesbian film festival. it was quite hilarious. bruce was there to take some questions afterwards. i then felt less shy, so went to a bar.

i went to Raidd and witnessed a shower performance. it was disappointing. upon hearing about this, i imagined a purely voyeuristic experience in which men would simply shower for the visual pleasure of patrons, without interaction. but this guy was all about working it for the audience. a stripper, no less. with soap and water, and a pair of underwear that ended up around his ankles. he had a huge cock, and unfortunately, that's what it was all about. soaping and thrusting his erection to the open mouthed boys on the other side of the glass. and girls. there were plenty of girls there too, which was nice to see. but yeah, the audience response was far more interesting than the performance. if it was my club there'd be no cock-thrusting, no eye-contact, just some simple everyday showering. and maybe some other bathroom cleansing and grooming activities. like shaving. and the brushing of teeth.

off to see another film tonight. considering a day trip to brussels tomorrow. yet to plan my movements post monday, in which i will head south to warmer climates and strange unknown destinations.