meeting mother

i'm meeting his mother tonight. not sure why i thought this would be a good idea. i guess i want to impress him. i guess i want to see how it feels. i guess i wonder what she's like, and what she might think of me. though i don't suppose she knows much about me. and her partner will be there too. and we're going to that place where we often eat. (but things will feel different, because it's me, him, his mother, her partner).

i'm there as a friend, i think. but who knows what their conversation will hold on the way to the restaurant. i guess she'll connect some dots at dinner. and i'm confused by what it will feel like and how i'm to behave. (do i kiss him on the lips?).

meeting mum is so counter to our relationship, which might best be called an anti-relationship. perhaps meeting mum doesn't have to be weird, in that case, because it needn't mean what we expect it to mean. (relax; there'll be wine).

i imagine i'll be asked 'what do you do?' which could be interesting, because in this time of 'hanging out' we've not really gone there. we know the basics, but these aspects are irrelevant. work is that place we go to after we crawl out of each other's beds. so many mornings of moving around each other as we shower, dress, and leave for work. and we don't need to know what we 'do' after we part on the corner, in the park, or at the top of the stairs. (i don't want to not kiss him on the lips)